Jeez, we’re 3 weeks into 2010!?
I’ve been missing at the blog. Got back a week ago but that’s no excuse.
Truth is, I’m struggling feeling uninspired to say anything.
Everything is the same and yet it’s not.
All the changes and wheels I set in motion last year are swirling around my ankles and reaching into my head like clouds bursting to rain.
I feel a restless edginess.
This is good! It means the path I’ve been on is nearing a destination and some doors are closing behind me as a result.
Others, they are opening.
And as it happens when doors open and close, they clang and make some noise which makes it hard to know exactly where you’re going.
Which is all fine cos as I said last week, when you don’t know what lies ahead, you just trust and get on with it.
I’ve already opened the door and stepped in.
Right now, I’m excited cos I know all sorts of wonderful things await and at the same time, I’m the caterpillar growing wings and leaving my old skin behind.
Which can be disconcerting.
I’m finding it a challenge to write about this process, perhaps cos I feel like I’ve already written and said everything I had to say about Inspired Action, Law of Attraction etc and now I’m thinking: what next?
Obviously I COULD say more about these topics, but the question is: Do I want to? I don’t know. I do know that there’s so much more that I have to share and do, I just don’t know what exactly.
Yet.
Which is why I’m working on it with my fabulous new coach Pam Slim!
One of the things she said to me was that I’ve been focusing on the WHAT so much that it could be what’s (ha! ha!) getting me stuck. (What as in: what do I want to say, what do I want to do?)
We got to thinking maybe that worked for me in the past but it’s not working now.
And cos my biggest values include freedom and connection, she suggested I look at the 2nd part, which relates to the WHO (The 1st part, freedom, is what being the boss of me has already brought me).
WHO!
Who do I want to work with, who do I like spending time with, who are “my people” aka my tribe. Who do I want on my bus along for the ride with me? Ahhhh!
How often do you get an idea and start running with the what and the how before figuring out the who?
For me, it’s been a loosely based idea – I resonate with smart, awake people who are interested in conscious creation, open and aware, growth oriented, fun, happy – YOU reading this, you are my person!
And if you are, then why am I waiting till I ‘have something to say’ instead of just telling you what’s going on in plainspeak? Cos you understand, you get it. And that’s all that matters.
Duh.
So rather than let another 2 weeks pass by before I appropriate my next newsletter into a blog post to cover up the fact I haven’t written anything in days, I’m just letting you know where I’m at and asking you to hang with me.
Since YOU are my people, I’m thinking something’s gotta be stirring for you too. So tell me, what’s going on? What’s happening with you / around you? What do you need right now? I’d like the next couple of weeks to be about giving voice to YOU.
So on that note, what would you like me to write about? What do you resonate with at this blog? What’s something you’d like me to address? Would YOU like to say something here? Sourcing you, so please chip in & thanks!
Your move.
(Just so you know, I’m not going anywhere, this is just the precursor to more of me, more of us. Thanks for being here). Yep, thatisall.
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Laughing out loud at this one: “when you don’t know what lies ahead, you just trust and get on with it.”
You say that as if it’s the most natural thing in the world and as if duh, everyone does that. Oho, Miss Tia, what makes you so special is that hell no, not everyone does this, and that you make it sound like a big old duh thing is so fantastic about you. You’re way ahead! love x
Ok you just made me laugh at your note as I realise just how matter of fact I am about trusting and getting on cos I didn’t even THINK twice about that till you pointed it out so very insightfully. LOL.
Girl, you are one of the most intuitive people I know – the way you get right to the heart of things and see what so many others don’t. You never cease to amaze me with your quick mind! Thanks for the grins 🙂 xo backatcha
Hi Tia,
My friend Leslie Stein gave me your web address and I’ve been enjoying your blog!
I’d love to hear more about the process you went through to mentally commit to living a life of adventure and not let all the things people worry about get you down, ie – how did you let go of living a conventional life? Was it difficult or did you just go for it? I’m newish to your blog so my apologies if you have already written about this in the past.
Keep up the blogging – it’s fantastic!
Rebecca
Hey Rebecca, any friend of Leslie’s a friend of mine 🙂 An absolute pleasure to hear from you and I love your post suggestion!
As a quick answer, back in the late 1990’s a friend said to me that I always seemed to make decisions based on how much fun I would have, rather than on what the consequences could be..
I remember being quite upset at that cos I wanted to be “responsible” rather than flighty ie, wanted to be more like my dad and less like me. It took a good 10 years before I could face and EMBRACE my this aspect of my personality.
What I say to people is that I have a “shocking” disregard for consequences in spite of years of self inflicted pain and suffering, or maybe it’s COS of that? Along the way I learned and changed so much that my relationships with family and otehrs changed as well, helping me to live more courageously.
Ok, there’s SO much here it deserves a blog post, thanks for asking and I’ll be writing about the process soon! A good 10+ years worth of juicy growth coming up 🙂
Thanks for following my blog girlfriend!
Wow, Tia, you really know how to say these things!
I’m at the exact same place in my life – closing some doors (for good) and listening to others opening, only right now I don’t know exactly where they are. I’m scared and excited at the same time, feeling very much alive, and most of the time I even manage to convince myself that it’s all gonna turn out just fine 🙂
I used to think it would be okay for me to handle challenges quietly and with dignity – now I feel more inclined to shout and scream and slam some doors! Part of my current (work) situation has to do with having accepted something that I’m not – now I’m ready to commit to meeting MY tribe. I’m ready to be ME.
Yay for that! 🙂
I’ve come to realise that Aliveness is what we all really want, when we look for excitement or experiences in life. And connecting with yourself and your tribe is one of the best ways to really feel that energy pulse through ay Toni!
Go on, scream, shout, throw a tantrum, join a drumming class, express yourself and let that energy out! Oh and I get the feeling you already know your tribe – reach out and let them accept you as you do them.
As someone said, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end yet 🙂 So YES, it will all be okay even if it’s not! AND you’re not alone, you’ve got us all. I’m glad to have you here xo thanks for commenting and sharing
Tia,
What I would love to hear from you is how you got to the point of being comfortable with living a life of adventure and being your own boss. That is where I believe that I am with knowing that the door is closing for me in my stable work job into the door opening for me into being a life coach/teacher/spiritual guide. But how do/did you let go of the stable life into the life of adventure…being your own boss?
Like Mia said how did you get comfortable in knowing and trusting in what lies adhead.
I enjoy your spirit and essence in everything that you post!
Melissa
Thanks for dropping by with this excellent question, Melissa. You guys are making me feel so excited with all these great ideas 😀 I knew turning it over to my tribe was the way to go, woohoo!
Here’s the thing that springs to mind – what does adventure mean to you? Adventure isn’t necessarily about living in a new place or country every 2-3 years or jumping out of planes (and yes I’ve done all that) nor does it mean wondering where your next meal is coming from.
It could mean something as simple as waking up early to watch the sunrise or going to a new grocery store. Point is, what does it mean to YOU and what does it bring you?
I’m asking cos I’m wondering if you equate adventuring or loss of income / job “stability” as something to fear? Cos I don’t see anything more unstable than having a job where you could be let go anytime, or where your creativity and soul are stifled.
Stability is something that was driven into us all and if you question why it’s so important, you’ll find that at the crux of everything we do are 2 emotions – love or fear. Fear of losing what we have = don’t want to change the status quo = no growth or challenges = stagnancy.
When faced with such a prospect, living a life of unpredictability can seem scary but only till you realise that YOU are what makes it all happen. Not your company, not your boss, not your systems, YOU.
And if it’s you, then you will thrive doing what you love the most. Life isn’t about the money and things as much as it is about the feelings and experiences that the money and things buy you. Okay I’m going off on a wee tangent here now but the point I was making is that when you believe in yourself, you can create a world beyond your imagination.
And THAT is what I will blog about, for sure – the process of believing in yourself, living a life of courage and truth, being who you were born to be 🙂 Thank you for inspiring this tome!
“I’m the caterpillar growing wings and leaving my old skin behind. Which can be disconcerting.”
Miss Tia, it is comforting to know that you and others are also in this transformational stage. People will periodically ask, “So what are you going to do with all of this knowledge you are accumulating?” or “What are you going to do with the rest of your life?”
And all I can say is, “I don’t know.”
I can so relate to where you are. Living in “I don’t know” can be unsettling at times, but this downtime also allows us time to reflect and bring new ideas to front and center. Taking each step forward and trusting that the path will appear can definitely be scary at times! And exciting! The energy so far this year has certainly been different than anything experienced in the past.
All of the spiritual teachers are saying the same things in a zillion different ways, but sometimes it takes that zillionth explanation to get the point across to us. You have a wonderful way with words, Tia, and sometimes when I am reading your blog, I have a “Wow, I never thought about it like that!” moment. So whatever you want to share is fine by me, because it is just a joy reading your blog. 🙂
It’s no surprise is it, Carol. We’re all flock-mates, so go thru similar changes at the same time!
It is SO ok to say I don’t know. Dang, who told us that we had to know where we’re going or what we’re doing all the time?
Sometimes, it’s best to just put the oars down and flow, or stock up like a squirrel, knowing this will come in handy some day.
In the past I would be worried or anxious in these flux times. Now, I smile and trust and focus on feeling good, knowing that’s what is making the transition smooth and happy. And if it gets bumpy, why that’s quite alright too – I do love rollercoasters after all cos they always end and I can ALWAYS get off! I choose not to though, cos that’s the fun part.
I think knowing about nature cycles, tides ebbing and flowing, gestation periods, bamboo trees etc makes it all so much clearer. Staying in the vortex is an easier job when you can look around and into your past to see just how perfectly everything happened.
I’m with you on “energy so far this year has certainly been different than anything experienced in the past” – it feels different, buzzing, exciting and it’s accompanied with faith and trust. That’s what is so COOOOL!
Thanks for the highest compliment “You have a wonderful way with words, Tia, and sometimes when I am reading your blog, I have a “Wow, I never thought about it like that!” moment.” – you’ve got me all a-smiles and happy as 🙂 Love you sista!
Well, I thought I close some doors but they re-opened, and others doors that just opened closed suddently. I know all is well though and that nothing really serious is going on and I came to understand that what I want comes to me but not the way I planned. As Mike Dooley says, the “how’s” are the domain of the universe. It took me some time to dig it, always trying to make things happen 🙂
I guess that’s my human part. Now, I get it, that and the part that talks about making peace with where you are. For the first time, I really appreciate where I am, I can see the oh so many positive aspects of my situation. It’s a strange feeling. I’m not used to it. I know happy and all excited, I know sad and angry but this peacefulness…I don’t know what is next and u know what? it’s perfectly ok.
I trust. Love u.
Namaste
Hahahaahahahaha @ the vagaries of doors!!
I find it a little hilarious that we try to control the U (I’m including me in this, cos even though I think I’m being open all the time, I’m still 2nd guessing and micro managing!) and think we know what’s going on behind closed doors when in fact the twists and turns our paths take are so unexpected, we really have no clue!
We don’t know the best way to get anywhere or do anything, we just think we do!
Ahahahahhah I don’t know why my funny bone’s so tickled but I can’t stop giggling 😀 😀 especially cos what you’re saying is just so beautiful – about peace and being ok with not knowing 🙂
Awesome! You’re awesome and I love you too!
Ps: “I wonder what will happen next” feels SO much better than “I want this to happen next” or “What’s going to happen next?!” – make it a preference instead of a want or a need and VOILA!!
Tia,
Your writing hits home as usual! Doors opening & closing. Trusting things to unfold as they should. And most of all…finding my WHO!!!
This week I sat down with three very like-minded women to discuss how we can help gorw each other’s networks while sharing & doing what we love (we had a massage therapist, a wellness expert a yoga instructor, and a coach).
The conversation was amazing! We talked about wellness, connection, law of attraction, shifting to find new perspectives, etc, etc…
We chatted for two hours and set up a time to talk again next week because we knew there was more to say.
After they left I had a bit of a let down because I thought, “We still don’t know what it is we are going to do.”
But after reading your post, I realize that matters less than having connected with some WHOs that are all on the same sheet of music!
So, again…thank you for being you and saying what’s in your heart about where you are on your journey. As always…it’s been eye-opening and fantastic! Love you for that!!!
Cheers,
Les
Hello my ♥ fav DC bloggess, ♥
I’m a little frenvious that you sat down with two other awesome women and connected – reminds me of when we met in Vancouver last year! Nah, I’m actually feeling your excitement and taking it on board. That is SOOO great, and YES, get them on the bus, then you can decide where to take it.
Aren’t bus journeys SO much fun? You don’t care where it’s going as much when you’ve got the fun people on board. And the cool thing about that? When your peeps are on the bus, amazing destinations will be dreamed up, possibly funner than if you planned the trip first and then got people on!
Love that analogy so much esp when I think back to all the bus trips I’ve taken – they have truly been the BEST times …. from an entire bus of classmates coming home late at night from a school festival, or a busload of family n friends going to my brother’s wedding, or FOUR buses of party people on the way from Atlanta to Savannah for a St Patty’s party… oh my, oh my the memories!
Every one of you here, I would have on my bus 🙂 So – when you coming back here? xoxo
Hi Tia,
I have been feeling the same from the beginning of this month. I am between projects so you know that feeling – what will be the next one, when will it be, where will it be, how will it be ???
One point that I wanted to bring up to get your views was on “The power of NOW” (By the way I started reading this book based on your suggestions in your blog) and I had this question.
When all we do is keep planing for our future or keep looking into the past to learn from our mistakes etc …. is it really as easy to live in the NOW moment. This way I never have any time for planning my future activities or for any introspection to learn from history. And it’s probably more easy to live NOW but am I prepared enough to face the music when the time comes ??
Can you shed some thoughts around this ??
Oh Gosh Sujata, love that you’re reading the Power of Now and asking about it. By all means plan, but know that plans are just that – ideas of how you want your life to be and the things you want to do.
As for the past, once you’ve learned from your mistakes, move on and don’t look back cos if you haven’t learned, those lessons will keep arriving till you HAVE learned so they are still going to be in the present.
Also, living in the moment doesn’t mean that you don’t visualise your future. It means that instead of waiting till … you get that job… get married …. win the lottery … *insert your dream here*…. to be happy, you get happy NOW.
Take the time to plan and introspect, heck do it for 30 min a day. Then get your mind back to now. What can you do today to bring you closer to your goals? How do you want to feel when you have achieved them? Why do you want them? Then, feel that way now.
You want security? Start feeling secure now by connecting with the higher source within you that centers you and knows all is always well. You want money? Start feeing abundant with what you have right now. You want freedom? Practice feeling free from your thoughts and limiting beliefs for 5 minutes a day.
Slowly but surely, you’ll be living in the moment even as you plan for the future. One more thing – no amount of preparation will “prepare” you to face the music if you’re already assuming the worst, instead you’ll be unhappy now AND unhappy then.
How about learning to dance so that when the music plays, you… dance? 🙂 There ain’t no music one can’t dance to, good or bad hey. Couldn’t resist that, lol. Hope this helps, would love to hear your thoughts!
Tia,
I love what you said, “Cos I don’t see anything more unstable than having a job where you could be let go anytime, or where your creativity and soul are stifled.” I see it now and am so happy that do. I stayed in a job where my soul was stiffled way toooooooooo long, but now see that even that was perfect because I am so happy. That door is closed and the new door is opening, and right now I am feeling all the tingly sensations of when I step through that newly opened door.
And I can relate to the micro-managing and 2nd guessing the universe. But I have always looked at it as me micro-managing and 2nd guessing myself. Now I see that it is the same thing! We all are the Universe, connected and one. So I have a new tool in my tool box, that being the recognition of my 2nd guessing myself is actually 2nd guessing the Universe.
A couple of days ago my intuition told me to quit my part time job and get on with my joy. But I gave my word to my employer so I don’t want to be backing out on that. Trustworthiness is one of my core values, so this is very hard to do. I do have an idea for my replacemnt, and if I could quit without causing any stress to my employer I would feel good about it.
HA! The other thing that my intuition just said was that my job is keeping me from stepping into my new door. Now my job is to trust it.
I think many of us reading your blog are in the same boat, and you turning the spot light on the uncertain waters your boat is sailing in helps us get comfortable with our own uncertain waters.
Trusting is my next step.
Thanks Tia for your comments. I especially valued what you said about “Setting time aside for tasks which may take you away from NOW ” but get back to NOW. I will practice that.
I also loved that “There ain’t no music one can’t dance to …”
I am generally a optimistic person and hates having negative thoughts …. but being a human being you dont realize when those negative mosters creep over. But I am glad of it today since I opened up a connection with you since I was tormented by the negative thoughts the other day.
Thanks again.