What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life. – Leo Buscaglia.
(This is a post by Deb Smouse of DebraSmouse.com. Pic source: Unknown/Google)
I’m going to let you in on one of the not-so-secret secrets of life..
BEING HAPPY IS SEXY!
Let’s be honest: The world is full of all types of people, many of them miserable and unhappy. And you know what?
They want company.
Your social network feeds are full of people bitching and complaining about the injustices of society – like Starbucks being out of pumpkin muffins, their company’s policy against being on Facebook during work, or the audacity of the airline making them wait ten minutes for baggage.
Every time you talk to your best friend, she complains about her husband. Every time you walk into a meeting, people grumble about their work load.
In a society where we are expected to want the next big thing, the newest gadget, to strive for more, it can be a challenge to find contentment and satisfaction.
But you have a choice.
You could take up the mantra “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” and proceed to grumble, complain and bitch.
Or you could choose not to.
You could choose to find something to be happy about, instead.
I know that the washed and perfumed masses may try to squash your joy. I understand that your friends and family members may remind you of past failures.
It isn’t that they want to cause you pain, it simply means that they are struggling with pain of their own. Or they’re afraid that if you don’t complain together, then you will lose your bond of friendship.
Don’t let their fears prevent you from stepping into your happiest, sexiest self!
Don’t let your own past fears stop you, either. The voices of the past may tell you that you don’t deserve to be happy. They may insist that you must be thin, rich, and beautiful to maintain happiness.
They’re WRONG.
You are perfect as you are now in this moment, and if you are miserable on the inside, no amount of money, no number on the scale and no amount of plastic surgery will make it go away.
So how do you deal with those voices and people? Here are eight practices to help you on your way.
One: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
It is no one else’s job, it is yours. If you look to the outside world for it, you’ll always be reaching for happiness instead of being happy.
Two: BE GRATEFUL.
Every night before you go to bed, write down at least three things you are thankful for. Going to sleep with gratitude on your mind will bring you a more positive approach when you wake to a new day.
Three: CLOSE YOUR EYES.
Turn a blind eye to all things media. Un-follow the Negative Nellie’s from Twitter, un-friend (or hide) the Facebook friends that only complain, and turn off the evening news.
Four: DISTANCE YOURSELF.
Don’t chime in when a co-worker complains. Don’t participate in gossip. Smile and walk away from negative social interactions.
Five: WORK IT, BABY.
If you are unhappy at your job, you have two choices: stop complaining and find the good in it or leave it. If changing jobs isn’t an option, then it’s time to find some delight in what you do each day.
Six: MAKE LOVE.
The right love relationship can make happiness a state of exhilaration. If you believe that you would be happy IF your partner changed, then you will be unable to discover any satisfaction. If you are not happy with who you are, then having a loving partner won’t fix it. If the state of your partnership is disintegrating, then you have a responsibility to yourself and the relationship to either change your attitude or your geography.
Seven: NO DRAMA, MAMA.
Allow those that you love – siblings, friends, family – to unburden themselves to you without attaching to their stuff. Remind them that you love them. Remind them that you want them to be happy. Turn the conversation to a happy memory, a funny anecdote, or an exciting upcoming event. Suggest to them a good therapist or coach – not as a judgment, but out of love.
Eight: SMILE :)!
A lot. Smile at grocery clerks and people that you pass. Smiles are catchy.
When you accept that it is not only OK to be happy, but that you deserve to be happy, you will transform. No matter how many Negative Nellies there are in the world that tell you that life is full of misery and woe, you can face the world with the knowledge that it’s okay to be happy.
You’ll find that the more abundance of joy you embrace, the more you will be able to shine your light of happiness to the world.
When you do shine that sexy brilliant light of happiness, you’ll find that that energy will be returned to you in every day interactions. When you look in the mirror, you’ll discover that the radiant woman in the glass is that sexy, confident, and happy you.
What will you do today to remind yourself to be happy? Please share in the comments below! Like/tweet/pin/share this post if it inspired you, thanks!
Debra Smouse is a writer, life coach, and Tarnished Southern Belle who helps people learn to fall in love with their life. An expert de-tangler, she believes in busting clutter as a path to greater clarity and that everyone woman is vibrant, passionate, and sexy being just itching to make their inner sex kitten roar.
A native Texan, she resides in Ohio with the Man of her Dreams. Get social with her on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
SPARKLE FLIGHT CLUB: Where your dreams take flight & fears get grounded.
30 day purpose + passion + inner self + gratitude journey in an online community experience. Starts October 1st, 2012. CLICK FOR DEETS + TO SIGN UP.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Image source: google.com
Hey Tia,
Very well.
The easiest thing to do is to point fingers at people and situations “explaining” why our lives turned out the be the way it is.
Taking responsibility is empowering and when we look at things differently, things start to change as Dr. Wayne Dyers puts it.
After all ” A man is about as happy as he makes his mind up to be. ” Abraham Lincoln
Great share!
thanks
Akos
Akos – that Abraham Lincoln Quote is one of my favorites! And you are so right…taking responsibility instead of explaining everything is one of those steps that leads us to our bliss.
I am going to look at everything I HAVE not everything I HAVE NOT and be happy and content. I have 2 beautiful little boys, a wonderful husband, very supportive family and a few very good friends. What I have got to be UNHAPPY about. I am going to sparkle and shine today 🙂 xx
You’ve hit the nail on the head – it’s about wanting what we HAVE and not what we don’t have!!
I’ve been working on seeing the good in situations and smiling at people wherever I go! It doesn’t change everything right away, but definitely makes my day a little less stressful. 🙂
It’s amazing how much happier we are when our days are less stressful
Tia, thanks for the eye opening! Great words to start all over again. God bless a woman like you.
Thanks Karina – the post was written by guest poster Deb Smouse though, so thank her 🙂 Glad you liked it and I’ll take the blessing anyway hehe.
Hi, Karina. Thank you so much. Deciding to be happy is a wonderful way to start over, isn’t it? And I’m thrilled to take your blessings along with Tia (we can never have too many!)
I think that this is an important lesson to teach children. I remind my children that happiness is their choice. When they begin to complain and carry on I ask them to stop and to reflect if the situation is really worth wasting time and energy being angry.
You are so right, Sandi. This is a very important lesson for kids to learn….and even if they don’t seem to follow it all the time, when they are adults, it’s something they WILL remember!
Hi Debra and Tia :).
I enjoyed how this post focused on the inner psychology of being happy. For me, I have found that gratitude established the base out of which my happiness can sprout. When I have gratitude I am able to appreciate all the beauty and joy in my life. Which is of course a good thing!
What will I do today, to increase my gratitude? Hmmm… I will play a videogame :). Yup! Maybe it doesn’t sound like that would increase gratitude but for me it does. I have worked very hard to get the level of freedom I have in my life. Sometimes, I forget this and I work myself to the bone. I will train all day, write, read, and get so zoned in on trying to accomplish every goal that I forget to step back and enjoy some of the beauty in my freedom.
Today I play videogames :).
Hi, Izzy! What came first, the chicken or the egg? Or in this case…gratitude or happiness? Like you, my gratitude practice came first and that’s when the true understanding of happiness kicked in. It was through gratitude that I realized that it was OK to be happy.
And, like you, I find myself in spells of working too much. I look at balance on a whole instead of daily – a weekly or monthly view – as I’ve found that it makes me stress less, be more grateful, and love my life even more. 🙂
Enjoy your video games! I think I hear a nice juicy book calling my name!
Great post and might I just say, the picture of the girl and the camel is the best pic I’ve seen in ages! 🙂
Glad you enjoyed the post, Iris. And the photo is amazing!
Superduperamazingly great! Tia and Debra, you both do a great job! <3 Cookies for you both! Woo!