Smart. Happy. Kickass. Women.
Create a R-evol-ution of Joy.
From teenage rebellion to glorious womanhood, here are some lessons I’ve learned about what makes some women sparkle like sunshine, inside and out.
Of such a tribe, I firmly believe you are too. Whether you do some of these, all, or none, you have within you the potential to be, do, and have everything you ever wanted. Happiness is just a habit that can be yours for life with a little daily practice. Really.
And yes, this applies to men too.
# 1 – Smart, happy women believe in themselves.
Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/free-stock/6882422150/in/photostream
Sure, they may …
… have doubts from time to time
… want to improve parts of their life and self
… wish they had someone else’s life in a rare moment of angst
… have the occasional day where the only thing that seems even slightly possible is stay in bed and watch reruns of Desperate Housewives!
But on the whole, they are confident and secure in who they are.
AS THEY ARE.
Here and now.
They also….
# 2 – let go of drama
# 3 – know what’s important to them
# 4 – act like they are worth it
# 5 – love and respect themselves
# 6 – acknowledge their strengths with quiet confidence
# 7 – choose their ‘battles’ wisely
# 8 – focus on the rocks vs the pebbles in their life
# 9 – don’t squander their energy on people who bring them down
# 10 – take care of themselves regularly
# 11 – treat their me-time as sacred and precious
# 12 – start their day off with a moment of gratitude / intention setting
# 13 – really listen
# 14 – collaborate vs bare knuckled compete
#15 – respond vs react
#16 – know their values and live by them
# 17 – make decisions based on what feels good and right
# 18 – act courageously
# 19 – believe that everything always turns out for the best
# 20 – don’t sweat the small stuff
# 21 – are optimistic and realistic and dreamy and idealistic and of all sorts!
# 22 – have clear boundaries and know that boundaries are a form of love
# 23 – find something good in every situation
# 24 – look at things from more than one perspective
# 25 – focus on what they want, not on what they don’t want
# 26 – complain less, appreciate more
# 27 – know the value of a good crying / venting session and don’t judge themselves or others for it
# 28 – pay attention to their emotional, physical, spiritual health
# 29 – are lit up from within – they find what truly lights them up and do it
# 30 – have a sense of purpose
# 31 – have more “oh well” moments than “if only”
# 32 – have dreams and desires and are taking steps to get there
# 33 – make time to play, play, play!
# 34 – are passionate about something, anything
# 35 – get out of their comfort zone time and again, growing their confidence every time
# 36 – create space and time for giving back in small or big ways
# 37 – find joy and pleasure in the smallest things – a smile, a flower, a compliment
# 38 – look for ways to add value vs ways to succeed (and end up doing both!)
# 39 – nurture quality relationships with other women in their lives
# 40 – spoil themselves without waiting for someone else to do it
# 41 – know they are born worthy + abundant, even if they forgot it for a while
# 42 – fly their freak flag high
# 43 – create memories and savour experiences
# 44 – splurge on themselves without going into debt
# 45 – smile … a lot
# 46 – only look back to see how far they’ve come & high five the present, not to cry over the past
# 47 – are proud of their achievements, accomplishments, successes
# 48 – but don’t let them define who they are
# 49 – do their best and let go of the rest
# 50 – forgive themselves and others for they know resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die
# 51 – rid their lives of clutter on a regular basis – mental, physical, emotional, digital, spiritual, etc
# 52 – let go of comparisons as soon as they find themselves comparing (only human, yo!)
# 53 – feel sad when they are sad, angry when they are angry – they don’t make their feelings ‘bad’
# 54 – know that everything is temporary so don’t stay attached to their emotions
# 55 – may have compassion for, but don’t give a HOOT what naysayers and I-told-you-sayers say
# 56 – trust their intuition
# 57 – quit, but never give up
# 58 – live the life they want and choose, not the one others choose for them
# 59 – don’t let the fear of failure stop them from following their heart
# 60 – learn from ‘failures‘ and understand failing AT something is not = BEING a failure
# 61 – don’t take shi*t from anyone – they expect respect & dignity and get it .. or walk
# 62 – love with abandon
# 63 – give what they want to receive
# 64 – embody kindness towards all
# 65 – realise that happiness is more a function of attitude, than circumstances
# 66 – honour their femininity
# 67 – are true to themselves above all
# 68 – are authentic and vulnerable, strong and soft hearted
# 69 – say no when they mean no
# 70 – sod the whole life-work balance ‘cos it damn well doesn’t exist
# 71 – embrace their imperfections AND know they are perfect as they are
# 72 – ask for what they want
# 73 – communicate vs condemn
# 74 – stop ‘shoulding’ all over themselves
# 75 – Give themselves a break – they don’t do all of this all of the time!
Forget about being Superwoman, just be the HAPPY woman who lives her life her way, kicks a** and gets things done, leaves some stuff undone, and ends each day with a satisfied smile on her face, a sassy spring in her step, and the sound of her own destiny beating in her heart.
Smart women ALLOW themselves to be happy.
‘Cos happiness is a choice.
One that they make anew, every.single.day.
What would you add to the list? Tell me below + like, tweet, pin, stumble to share with kickass women you know, cheers!
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About Tia & Your Life YOUR Way:
Life Coach / Awesomeness Inciter + Inner Sparkle Activator Tia Sparkles offers tips, advice, community hug-a-thons to ignite your Inner Sparkle — that shimmery part of your spirit that says YES to courage + connection, and NO WAY to ‘shoulds’ + restrictions.
She loves Nutella, New Zealand, Yoda, & Sparkles.
Plane image source: google.com
Hi Tia,
I felt compelled to commment because I am a male and as I went through your list I kep tsaying that would make me happy, that works, yup that too…
I think this list applies to both sexes. I am having trouble coming up with something new simply because I cannot remember all of the items from your list.
I would say of all of the things you bring up, having a sense of purpose has been th emost powerful to me. The deeper my sense of purpose has become the the more happiness, joy and gratitude I have felt. I guess the challenging thing is to reach a point in our lives where we are able to gain a true sense of our purpose.
You’re absolutely right, Izzy! Now I feel like renaming this post 😉
I was thinking about all these things at 1am and this post just flowed out as is. But of course, this is what happy people do. Period.
That thing about purpose … I’ve found it’s more about being purposeful than the one holy grail. My purpose is loosely defined as Joy.
ps: Welcome to YLYW!
Tia, this is such a great post! There is just one thing I would add though:
Happy Women should not criticize and find faults with other women (and men) regardless of our differences. But are encouraging and supportive of other women.
Alot of people think they find ‘happiness’ in fault-finding and putting down others, but that’s just sad!
Char.. great point. Happy people live and let live. Besides, criticism is a really unhelpful way of asking for what one needs. Behind every criticism is an unmet need – and it takes an emotionally mature person to reframe it in such a way that they get what they ask for and don’t find fault with the other 🙂 It’s always a work in progress, hey.
Thanks for dropping by! I’ve missed posting, good to be back and connecting with ya’ll again. Cheers! T
Love your site! check out this Fantastic video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao&feature=youtube_gdata_player
It’s called Validation.
Oh I’ve seen that one a few times and shared it on my inspiration page here too, Cathy! Thanks for reminding me of it 🙂 and thank you for reading my articles and commenting! xo, Tia
The warmth and love that softly breathes with around and with me and my loved ones and our fur and feathered family members. It’s so protective and safe and warm, you almost want to just whisper to eachother. It’s so sacred.
Thanks X
Beautiful 🙂 thanks Pauline!
What a delightful list, Tia! Reading through it, I especially liked the last one–it’s amazing how much happier remembering that I get to have days where I get all of this “wrong” helps me be. Funny how sometimes the secret of shifting from unhappiness to happiness is simply giving yourself permission to be where you’re at and make the mistakes you’re making, kwim? Thanks for sharing this!
You said the golden word – permission! Thanks for dropping by, great to see you here again, lady!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, for jumping on my computer screen….You are just what I needed today….suttle reminders of who I am and what my worth is…….plus I love sparkles, anyway they are presented’ So I close today with another extra gratitude item to write on my list……Namaste, Patti
Well that just makes me smile 🙂 Thanks Patti, glad you found your way here!! Many sparkles to you!
Brilliant list, Tia! As I read thru it I was glad to realize that I’m doing more of those things than I was a year or two ago 🙂
I would add, don’t be afraid to be a geek! I saw a cool share on FB the other day, that being a geek is about having childlike enthusiasm about what you love, without apology. Some things I’m a geek about…books, cats, coffee, lightning storms, doing laundry (honestly!), proofreading, and the band Great Lake Swimmers. Being a geek is the new COOL!
Progress is what it’s all about, hey Laurie! One day at a time and before you know it, you’ve climbed your Everest 🙂 I like your reframe of geek!
oh thanks. I needed this 🙂
You’re welcome, lady!
This list is really great Tia! I also think this list could be for both sexes. I also think that if a woman has to come and read this to remind herself how wonderful she really is , does she really believe she is? I am 24 I know Im young people will probably read this an think he doesnt have the slightest idea what hes talking about but I fell in love with the greatest woman on this planet. I say fell because once you begin that fall it never ends even if we are not together I think about her everyday. My point is what happened to love? I see my friends sleeping with a lot of girls that mean nothing to them. I would rather have 1 girl who meant the world to me than 1000 that didn’t. I think guys should read this list more than girls and they should do these things for a woman they really care about. Love is a rare thing these days if you are lucky enough to find it hold on and never let go. As for something new “Live in each moment that gives you butterflies capture those in memory”
And that’s what makes you the kind of man every woman deserves 🙂 Thank you, Eric!
Both women AND men sometimes need reminding of how amazing they are, that’s when this post comes in handy. I know that even though I believe I am awesome, sometimes I forget and lose faith in myself and what I am doing. It’s human, no? That’s when a well timed conversation or something inspirational lifts me up again.
Loved reading your post, big smiles! xo, Tia
Im glad you liked what I had to say Tia. I want to just open peoples eyes I had to lose the one person who actually meant more to me than I do to myself. That saying “you dont know what you have till its gone” really makes me think about all the time spent with her and I can say God sent me a miracle. I also think its amazing how falling in love changes you. It happens so fast you dont even realize it I think love brings out who people really are but they are too afraid to show it. You are an amazing person Tia! Reading all the stuff youve written on here you have a gift. You see people I mean you really see each person uniquely. You give people hope and give them reasons to hold onto their faith in a higher power and themselves. You speak life into words so people can see them an I think by doing this you make the world beautiful. Theres a quote from Tupac Shakur he said, ” I know im not going to change the world but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world.” I truly believe you can do that Tia! I hope to hear from you and I look forward to reading more and more of your quotes and poems.
GREAT Post! . . I like it…
I love the list and will look back on it again. The one that jumped out at me was shouldn’ting all over myself. LOL I need to stop doing that.