I just read a post by Susannah Conway – Can we be honest. It got quite the epic response.
She talks about being real and blogging with authenticity, something that I, along with every other blogger and coach, have gone blue in the face thinking and talking about.
No one knows just what the ‘right balance’ is between transparency and authenticity. We’re all touting “be open, be authentic, be honest” while at the same time, struggling against ourselves.
Everyone (me included) hazards a guess:
- share just enough to show you’ve been there but don’t let them know if you’re there right now, cos that will just make you seem like you don’t have your sh** together
- don’t speak about anything personal, keep it professional
- be who you are and talk about anything you want, your right people will be drawn to you
- be authentic, yet with enough expertise so that you’re seen as someone relatable AND experienced
Well, here’s the thing.
You know it. I know it. They know it.
NO ONE has their sh** together all the time.
You don’t. I don’t. They don’t.
We all choose to show our shiny, happy faces online so we can stay true to our online personas, our brands but we ALL know that we ALL fall, burn, crash, get up again.
This isn’t a bad thing, heck, consistency pretty much rocks the socks off one-offs to built any kind of long term success – be it in business, relationships, blogging, health, or any aspect of life.
But just how much sharing is too much sharing?
Should you blog as an expert or as someone who’s in the trenches? Do you write about things with a positive twist on them as in “this happened and this is what I learned and this is what you can do now”? Or should you be more open about your failures in the now?
Is is too much to talk about what’s happening AS it’s happening?
Susannah: I’m as guilty as anyone of avoiding this space when I’m feeling down — that’s when I have no energy to string words together and would rather be watching Buffy Season Six with a blanket over my knees.
Replace Buffy with Scrubs or How I Met Your Mother reruns (and Nutella), and that could well be me.
One who found herself so totally consumed by recent circumstances that she couldn’t for the life of her focus elsewhere or shake off the tiredness and processing long enough to pen down some of those thoughts and share.
Avoidance.
Because to show up would mean talking about something that was going on IN the moment instead of arriving at a conclusion with lessons learned and nicely wrapped up in a pretty little post for you to scan and for her to feel like she’d been authentic, shared AND inspired you to learn, grow or change something. Win-Win.
I’m talking about me.
And you.
And getting caught up in appearances. “Doing it right”.
Sometimes, even though you have SO much to say, you can’t find the “right words” and have no energy to find them and so, you don’t.
Me: Even as I type this I’m realising how wrapped I am in HAVING the “right words” to say and how I didn’t want to write until I had a nice little revelation to authentically and skilfully present from my experience.
As bloggers and coaches we often tread the line between transparency and authenticity and it can be hard to decide how much to share. We’re often so busy mining for the nuggets to share in our story instead of being in the moment and being truly vulnerable, that we lose the impact.
I think for me it comes down to – get the eff over myself and share.
Not bleed all over my blog, but share the process as is and not worry about being insightful, educational, evocative or inspirational. Cos somehow, that just tags along.
And so here I am. Talking about what wants to be talked about. With no bows or neatly packaged lessons to learn.
- I’m tired of people (yes, I’m one of them) sharing AFTER they’ve processed.
- I’m tired of hiding out untill I have something of ‘value’ (as defined by me) to share
The couple of times I’ve shared my process while IN it has been hugely powerful in moving me through it faster AND you seeing exactly how it’s done. It doesn’t make me a less powerful leader.
I want to believe that it doesn’t take away any of my credibility or expertise to stand up and say this is who and where I am.
Some days I’m a firework bursting with energy, ideas and confidence, some days I’m a candle burned to the end and it’s all I can do to flicker weakly.
Life is freakin’ messy, yo. Gorgeous, and also messy.
For me, you, our clients.
But that doesn’t make us any less awesome at what we do and who we are.
Instead, I believe it makes us AWESOMER.
Some questions are burning in my mind and I’d love to hear what you think.
- How much do you share online?
- Do you want to share more / less / the same? Why?
- Do you have the balance you seek in your blogging?
- Would it help your clients and readers to see not just the end result but the process too?
- What would that mean for your ego / business / bottomline?
- Do you think it’s better to draw a line?
- What’s that line for you?
- What if you stopped hiding and struggling on your own?
- What if being a leader meant talking, walking and showing the path while you’re still ON it?
- Do you sometimes find yourself “stuck” or “uninspired” when it comes to writing?
- Have you ever gone a few weeks without blogging and ‘shoulded’ / beaten yourself up about it .. y’know “I haven’t blogged in 3 weeks, yikes, I really should be….” but not had the courage or clarity to write about whatever was going on in the moment?
- If you did, would that be scary? Helpful?
I don’t have an answer to all the questions I posed and I suspect there isn’t any one right answer anyways. However, what Susannah and I feel, is something you’ve been feeling too. And together, we can communicate, share, reach out to each other and find our own answers.
Ultimately, it’s about living with authenticity and awareness.
Your online persona and your offline worlds have merged so much, that you simply cannot keep them apart today. One of the biggest challenges facing you then, is putting these pieces together and seeing what your puzzle looks like.
Tia,
First off – thank you so much for writing this. And I say that, because it’s easy to sit here in the comfort of my own home, and decide which parts of my life to be transparent about. And how do you know. Really know. Is what I’m sharing, while real and authentic, is it fully real and authentic? Hmmm…I wager to say that what I share – as real as it is – it’s not always the “full” real. (does this make me look like a downright liar, now?!?!?)
There is this feeling of weakness – when we (I) show that which doesn’t have some lesson. I feel it. And it holds me back.
Can I commit to being “more open”? I’d like to say I can. (I’m not sure yet…) How about this – I will commit to being more open to what I share… (in a way – I feel a bit vulnerable saying all of this that I’ve said…)
Anyway, Tia, thank you for writing this. It speaks very deeply to me…
Lance
xoxo
You pretty much summed up the entire conundrum, Lance. Much of it has to do with how we want to be perceived and the feelings of shame that come along with our ‘weaknesses’ or ‘failures’.
I’m sorry it took me so long to reply and thank you for your vulnerability and openness. I’ve definitely noticed how we all can get torn deciding what that line is. Sometimes, a rule of thumb I use is – if it feels scary, do it!
And no, you’re not a liar, LOL! I get it. We get it. Thanks so much for the comment!
I’ve been going through this EXACT same thing. I haven’ posted in uhhhhh….yeah, because my life is awesome, my love life even better, and yet….how can I translate that to value for people?
How can I share the pain, the valleys, the nightmares and ICK that I’ve had over “business blogging” vs. this is ME, people. How can I begin to unravel what parts of me help others to the point where they’d want to pay me for it?
Yeah, I’m a therapist. Licensed, etc. And I need one sorely. 🙂
Thank you for this, Tia. LIke Lance, it speaks deeply to me.
Jeanie
How’s the process been since you posted, Jeanie? I suppose one could always have a category that says ‘valleys, nightmares and ick of business blogging – the dark side no one sees’ and I bet you anything, that’s what would get the most views ;)!
I’d say ALL parts of you will help others who are where you have been. They help you understand and clarify and hear and heal. Why the need to unravel at all? Isn’t it the sum of who you are that attracts who and what you need?
You ask about how to translate that into value – but by living your life the way you want, aren’t you giving permission to and inspiring others to do the same? And I hear you about the wanting to give value part and I’m also saying it’s about being you and THAT is all the value you need to deliver – everything else comes from that.
I’m curious to hear your response. Thanks for sharing!
Tia SPARKLES*
I love this post. Authenticity is one of my biggest values, partly because it’s just EASIER to be honest. I’m still finding the balance. I notice that sharing from an authentic place AND wanting to connect seems to give me the most energy, not just sharing @#$%.
I don’t want to read @#$%, I want to read an offering from an authentic place that I can connect with.
Love, Auretha
Just reading your post made me giggle – if energy is what you’re after, oh boy, are you ever doing that justice Ms Auretha! Much love xo
This post resonates like a gong, and it’s definitely something I’ve wondered about frequently in my 10 years as a coach. How much to share? How much is too much? How will I know if I’ve crossed the line? It’s crazy making!
It’s a slippery slope, I think especially for coaches because we do have to have it somewhat together in order to do great work with our clients, ie: if my life sucks how can I help others in the way I want?
The graphic you chose is perfect because it is totally a balancing act. I think more often than not, I’ve opted for transparency. While I may not have all my shit together, my humanity shines through and in the end, that’s what my right people want most so it’s a win/win.
Of all the coaches I know, you really seem to have a handle on it Sandi! It works to be real and transparent with the grace and deep level of caring that you bring. Balance is over rated anyways – in the end, it’s going to be all levelled out anyways, huh.
I’d ask – so what? So what if you crossed the line? Who put the line there anyways? We get to stretch that line back and create a new one. The more I think about this the more I wonder at the boundaries we lay down for ourselves .. is it to protect our image or reputation? Is that really more important than sharing deep vulnerability when it wants to be shared? One life. Stardust. Now is the most important time, ever.
Besides, nothing is irreversible (well, almost nothing – although, people have come back from near death situations, so maybe, nothing!?)
Loved your reply, thanks for provoking further thought!
Balance is SO overrated, some fantasy that we’ve bought into. I love Danielle LaPorte’s take on balance. If you’re working on a project give it everything you’ve got, let things slide (or delegate) in other areas and give yourself fully. Then, when it’s complete? Take the time you need to rest, nourish yourself etc. Balance is boring 😉
Passion, baby! Passion! Dive deep or you hit your head in the shallow. Yep, we’re partying on the same boat. I went thru most of my life thinking something was wrong with me for going all out and then needing 2X the time to recover but I harken it to being 70% water and ebbing and flowing with the tides. A cancer moon solidifies that relationship. Some Tuesday morning astrology for ya, haha.
I really resonate with this too, Tia. Like you, I’ve tended to stay away from my blog when I’m deep in my own process. I can go for weeks feeling like I can’t string any words together about what’s going on and feeling like I have to wait until I can tie it up into a neat little life lesson. But when I do share it, even a little of the raw “in-the-moment”-ness of it, I get huge thanks and gratitude from my readers for doing so.
I recently learned from Leo Babauta of Zen Habits that when he was building his blog up to over 100,000 readers he discovered that what people most wanted was to be shown HOW he was doing his life and walking through challenges, and they wanted to see it WHILE he was in the messy figuring it all out part – because that’s exactly where they were too. He believes that showing people our real process is one of the most valuable things in the online world – however, if our blog is there to serve others, we still have to keep our eye on what’s valuable for them, so our writing doesn’t end up just being all about us all the time.
So, I’ve just recently moved the internal line I had drawn telling me how much of my sh** was too much for my blog and I’ve moved it way further toward the authentic, transparent, messy side of things now. And funny enough, my writing is getting better because I’m allowing myself to show up more fully and I’m writing and connecting from a more passionate, real and alive place. And people are definitely noticing.
Thanks for inviting this dialogue!
Know what’s ironic, Susan? That after I wrote this piece, I couldn’t come back and respond to the comments – for 6+ weeks! Wtf’s up with that? This has happened once before – when I open up a topic that doesn’t have any clear answers and probably never will, it brings out so many amazing replies and perspectives that my brain refuses to process it.
Which in itself could have been an interesting post, LOL!
I agree that sharing the process IS super important for those a few steps behind us on our journeys and I also believe it can be done in a way that isn’t all about us (which is where the lessons learned/being learned/courage and showing up parts come in).
This post I wrote was one of those in-the-moment-I-have-no-answers kinda posts and I think my ego got in the way of not having the right responses, hence the delay in replying to comments.
SO interesting to see this process. I absolutely treasure your comment and sharing Leo’s POV. Thanks for playing with this question – I can FEEL the aliveness in your words!
I share a lot. And the last couple of years that sharing seems to be about loss – a friend, a cat, this year my mom. And to be honest, until the loss of my mom, I was fine with the sharing – I talked about it during, during, during and after. But that’s what I do – talk about this stuff. I talk about finding the moments that make it okay, and I talk about the moments when there’s nothing that makes it okay. This year, the experience with my mom shut me up. I talked a bit about that, and, to be honest, it never helped to talk about being lost, feeling wordless, but I did it anyway, just here & there, and I think even those days of no posts told a story. I tried to write about something else, but it wasn’t happening & I just stopped trying to force it. You can’t force magic, and the good & the bad both make magic. And that was the lesson learned – to keep on speaking the truth. To cry. To throw things at the page. It’s what I want when I read someone else’s stuff. I want to know them. I want to know the messes, the hardness, and the joys. If I want that from them, how can I offer less?
Hey Debi! I reckon it’s an easier decision for some of us. Being a life coach, it’s understood that emotions and feelings and courage and self actualisation play a big part in what we do, and hence easier to talk about those topics without crossing lines as such. If I were a business blogger primarily, I’d ask “is this in service to my readers” and the answer would be probably not. Occasionally yes, every post, no.
Your reply is magic. Yes, indeedy. Because you can’t force it, and bad and good are subjective + 2 sides of the same coin. I’m riveted by your writing and that’s what I would come to you for, knowing that you are someone who feels and shares from her core – something that takes courage and vulnerability.
You rock! Thank you so much for sharing your words xo
ps: LOVED your “being my own woman” post.
I’ve done both bare my soul blogging and more arms length blogging and people respond to both, and which I do pretty much depends on my mood. I used to obsess over schedules and musts and now I just do what I feel moved to do–at the moment, that means a couple posts a week, but who knows what it will mean in the future.
Interestingly, when I did a survey on my site asking my readers what they wanted more of, a couple people specifically said they want more personal stories. I made my about page pretty darn personal, but I keep the day-to-day stuff of my life more to myself. I see myself as an encourager/inspirer (not a word–but who cares ;), and I do that better when I’m not spotlighting those moments when I wallow. I prefer to process that at least a little before I share it. But I often do share the wallows and results of the wallows.
I love posts like this one, Tia, because they’re connecting. I’d rather “take advice” from someone who is real than someone who claims to have it all together, because as you say, who has it all together?
Andekins! Isn’t it funny how I stirred the pot and then ran away for 1.5 months ;)? I’ll be perfectly honest and say barethesoul blogging makes me queasy.. I too share as much as I am comfortable sharing, that makes me look good or at least, like I went there and back and am recovered from it. Validation is important to me, go figure.
I wasn’t curious about sharing the wallows as much as the process of confusion, lack of clarity and ups and downs that go with running an online business (as opposed to intimate family stuff). That’s something most coaches shy away from, cos it does impact how successful they seem, I guess? I say this cos nothing bugs me more than the “I did _____ and spent so much money on _______ and 2 years later, learned ________ and now know that the only way I can make money is by teaching you to avoid those mistake”
Oops.. I went a bit ranty there 😀
/rant over
You’ve got a good grip on how much and how to share. As always, follow intution! Cheers Ande!
How much do you share online?
I am not a blogger, but I do facebook. I’ve always believed that you should not share much personal stuff online, but that comes from my beginning years on computers where we were not sure of much of anything or anyone. We were guarded and it’s hard to drop that emotional barrier that we throw in front of ourselves.
Do you want to share more / less / the same? Why?
I would love to share more of myself and I think it’s important that if you have a motivational site/blog that you share real stories (not with names, locations, etc) but REAL problems, real solutions and let your readers learn how to handle such things. I read a lot of motivational sites and information, it’s all great. But I have real life issues and I like to know that even those who write motivational and inspiring material also have real problems. It’s comforting to know one is not alone. It’s a relief to realize that one is not the only one who makes mistakes and has issues to resolve. I’m more inclined to real the inspirational pieces that talk to me about being human and how it’s ok to be human.
Do you have the balance you seek in your blogging?
I don’t blog, yet. 🙂
Would it help your clients and readers to see not just the end result but the process too?
Speaking as a reader, viewer… YES YES YES!
What would that mean for your ego / business / bottomline?
N/A
Do you think it’s better to draw a line?
I think that everyone has to draw some line. It’s not a matter of whether it is better to draw a line, but more important (to each individual) WHERE to draw the line.
What’s that line for you?
For me, that line would be anything that would mention another person. I could talk about my issues (as long as it did not bring someone else into it).
What if you stopped hiding and struggling on your own?
I think none of us should ever struggle all alone. It’s much better to talk to others who have also struggled and who have overcome obstacles. I think any blogger who could reveal their own struggles would be amazed at the amount of feedback they would get in return. Everyone struggles and we all want to know we are not alone. We also want to believe that those who inspire us to be better have also struggled and learned. How can you tell me how to overcome any struggle that you have not experienced? How can I believe your advice if I think you have not also experienced the struggles? Not really questions for you, just thinking outloud!
What if being a leader meant talking, walking and showing the path while you’re still ON it?
THAT is exactly what being a leader IS. A true leader also needs assistance, compassion and understanding once in a while too. True leaders are leaders because they have struggled and learned.
Do you sometimes find yourself “stuck” or “uninspired” when it comes to writing?
Everyone does! I’m trying right now to write some Daycare Adventure books for my daughter. I’m struggling a bit with where to start the story. LOL Every writer gets stuck and every writer has times when they are just not inspired.
Have you ever gone a few weeks without blogging and ‘shoulded’ / beaten yourself up about it .. y’know “I haven’t blogged in 3 weeks, yikes, I really should be….” but not had the courage or clarity to write about whatever was going on in the moment?
N/A
If you did, would that be scary? Helpful?
N/A
As I said, I am not a blogger, but I am a reader of blogs. I thought I would give you answers based on a readers point of view.
I love your blog and if you skipped weeks, I would still come back and look for new stuff over and over. You have a way of putting into words what I am sometimes thinking in my head, but don’t know how to say it!
KJ
Wow! That’s one heck of a response, Kathy!
Thanks for taking the time to be so thorough with your answers. I’m not sure why you aren’t blogging yet but I strongly urge you to start. You have so much depth and insights and have had so much experience with finding your voice and learning to be authentic, that you will be doing the world a service by sharing your journey. And of course, your writing is thoughtful and connecting, honest and real.
Yes, no one is alone, many feel what we feel and part of our work here on Earth is to own who we are, and live to the best of our abilities a life of joy and aliveness!
So …. blog.. ? 😉
This is great Tia and you hit the nail on the head. There is a huge internal conflict in that how can I be a professional or an expert in my chosen field and not have my sh*t together? How can I be of any assistance to my clients? How can I guide someone on their journey when some days all I can focus on is my personal journey?
I think we forget tat the beauty of the journey is not where we started, nor is it where we are going to end up, but rather what happens along the way. It’s not always pretty. It’s not always peaceful. But by sharing the journey that we are on, we create a wider path, and create the potential for someone to join us who once thought they were alone in their journey. And isn’t that truly what we are trying to do? Get through life together? Laughing, singing, and enjoying the sunshine?
Thanks for opening up that topic Tia. It calms the fears and opens the door to many opportunities. Love and sunshine…..
Myra
Myra, that’s not the issue – how to be an expert and not have your s*** together – cos honey, I don’t care if you’re the US pres or a mega-millionaire, no one has their s*** together all the time as we define it. It’s not even humanly possible I think! Life, by nature, is up and down, ebb and flow, emotions and feelings, action and inaction.
What it is about then, is owning your values and desires, taking each moment as it comes, living in the now even whilst planning for the future, and finding joy every day! Somedays it’s about you, somedays about others. All part of it.
You got it – journey together, stay here and present, don’t jump ahead into a future that hasn’t been written yet. Write it as you go along and share it with those around you, personal, professional, whathaveyou.
Well said, young lady! Thanks for making me smile 🙂
Brilliant, Tia…I’ve been wondering when the right time would be to send you a novel-length email, and all those questions are getting me stoked up for one…so beware. 😉
There are two things that earn my loyalty when it comes to bloggers I admire: wisdom and transparency. And so often, wisdom comes out of those messy things in life that truly stretch us as human beings. I love posts that have the depth and quality that shows they were well-thought-out and written after much pondering on big life lessons. Those kinds of posts help me so much to chart my own path and learn from those who’ve gone before. But I also love “in the moment” posts because it helps me see that those I admire sometimes find themselves in a quagmire same as I do.
My little newbie self has been giving all these things a lot of thought as I get ready to launch my own online endeavor. Thanks Tia for speaking out on something that’s really challenging and never black-and-white.
Thanks for the heads up on that Missy, I’ll know when to be on ‘vacay’ haha j/k. Yeah, it really is a balancing act like in the pic huh. The guideline, going by all the responses, seems to be “check in with intuition and do what feels good”.
I keep wanting to direct everyone to Cath Duncan as a model for how to be authentic online and still be seen as credible through her processing whilst channeling her grief into a project that’s creating waves and doing so much good http://kidneyraffle.com/
I’ve seen you blog about this before, Tia, so I’m guessing this is an important question for you to answer for yourself.
Similar to Ande’s comments, I’ve had to find my own feel-good in this regards. There have been seemingly-successful people blogging about their problems who I stopped reading and others who helped you feel like you were part of their discovery journey.
The truth is, as you say, all of us have different levels of success — but very few have success in EVERY area of their life at ALL times. There’s an ebb and flow. I am not sure I want to know about every one else’s ebb and flow all the time. I’ve got enough to handle with my own life. 😉
When I’m *IN* the turmoil in m own life, my out-of-the-Vortex impressions would be little more than ranting. However, when I find myself on the other side, back-in-the-Vortex (and I always find myself there, eventually), then I have usually had enough time to process my emotions and the blessing(s) from the experience. At that point, I am always more than happy to share, and it FEELS REALLY GOOD to share the journey ALONG WITH the blessings and lessons learned.
Personally, I’m not interested in reading about the struggles themselves, or witness people whining, but I do *love* to read stories about people who made it through and benefited from the overall experience. That pretty much sums up most self-help material, too!
In the end, you, TIA, have to decide what’s right for you and act on that – regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Many blessings,
Nancy
It’s an important question not just for me, but for legions of bloggers and coaches, Nancy. I got asked this so often and read about people’s push-pull relationship with blogging enough times that I knew it was time to address it in a publicly stronger way and get a discussion going.
Yeah if it sounded like whining or complaining I would not want to hear about it either. On one hand it’s a great source of inspiration to read about people after they made it through and on the other, I’m equally inspired and even MORE connected to people who share with grace and openness AS they are going through something.
Case in point – Cath Duncan sharing her story as she works through her grief of losing her baby at 5 months gestation due to kidney disease and showing us all how to navigate loss in a vulnerable, authentic way as she walks, talks, blogs, heals and raises money for kidney research. All whilst still processing on a daily basis. Now THAT’S more powerful and inspiring than if she was blogging about it after a few years.
Everyone needs to decide what is right for them – I’m happy for you that you found your groove, and hope anyone reading this post + comments realises and learns for themselves what their own level of authentic sharing is and follows their intuition.
I’m just here to stir the pot and ask the right questions and figure out my answers as I help others figure out theirs.
Can’t go wrong with the theory of ‘do what feels right’ 🙂 Great timing too, as I’m a part of a month long intuition and self reliance blogging challenge for which I’m an author prompt. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, great to have you drop by!
Hi Tia,
Thanks for your beautiful post. It does stir up a lot. But nothing that wasn’t already in the pot. You know what I’m wondering about? About the role of Law of Attraction in all of this.
I believe that reality is our mirror, since we can only attract what we vibrate, in other words: we can only attract what we are. So our readers must be reflecting back who we are in that moment, or else they could not have been attracted to that particular blog post.
So what if we wouldn’t write for others, but for ourselves? Since there is no difference between the two of them?
Abraham says that coaching or healing or teaching or helping others in whatever way is about the joy of being able to take the vibrational bounce to the new place that the other person is providing with their current experience of contrast.
When we start to care more about helping (or pleasing) them, than about the joy of being able to focus into new and fresh and juicy places, we get out of the Vortex ourselves and the experiences isn’t as delicious as it could be anymore.
So what I am getting to understand as I’m writing this is this: whether it’s another person that is proving the contrasting experience or myself, there usually isn’t much difference. You clients/readers are attracting the same kind of contrast. The only difference between you and them is that you, as a deliberate creator and teacher, are able to make the jump to what it is that you/they are wanting quicker. You know how to get back into alignment with your energy. You know how to get back in touch with your breathing, your cells, your body, your heart, your life energy and feel utter appreciation for the fact that you are living and are able to always find your way back into alignment with who you really are quickly. And from that feeling place it’s easy to take to vibrational jump into the new experience, by focusing upon the opposite of what isn’t wanted. And when you would blog and talk about that vision, that vibration, that feeling, that experience, then you not only bring yourself to where you want to be, but you take a whole bunch of other people with you while you are still on your physical way there. You can take the journey together.
The only difference between a teacher and a student is that the teacher is able to make the vibrational bounce quicker. You don’t have to be there physically before you can be of value. When you can be a satellite dish that is beaming the new and improved frequency, you are helping yourself and others at the same time and be your authentic self every step along the way, without having to doubt your credibility, because working this way will feel so incredibly good and vortexy that those kind of thoughts won’t even cross your mind.
Just make the journey fun and you’re there.
Thank you for helping me put my own thoughts into words Tia. I love and respect your authenticity, openness and willingness to live your life, your way!
Love
Mariëlle
ps: This Abraham video keeps reminding me of what a teacher/healer really is and does:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z52H1WoLycY&feature=player_embedded
Mannnnnnnnnnn!!! I love where you’re taking us Marielle! How beautifully you’ve explained this in LOA terms. Well, everything IS LOA like you said 🙂 I’m just grinning broadly and revelling in your words. May have more to say later but really, you.said.it.all.
From the depths of the ocean, thank you for bringing these juicy thoughts to the fore. And for the lovely words of acknowledgement. Reading this again just made my day.
Hugs, hugs, hugs to you soul sista! xoxoxox
Thanks Tia, it was nice for me to read this again too, since I posted it over a month ago. And you know what? In the meantime I got my blog answers and new approach settled.
What I understand is that co-creating at it’s best means that you deliberately start co-creating with the non-physical part of you. The part of you that can see the bigger picture, knows that fastest, most harmonious and effective route and is always able to focus in a positive way. The physical part of us is here to ask the questions and discover the new desires and the non-physical part of us is here to answer the questions and provide the means to satisfy the desire.
This is not just interesting theory for me anymore. I know that we are meant to co-create with the non-physical part of us every step along the way. It is here for us to answer every single little question we have. All we need to do is ask and expect to receive. We need to open up and get out of the way with our efforts so our vibrations can rise and we are able to allow the answers and solutions in.
Genuine trust, belief and knowing comes from co-creating on an intimate basis with the non-physical part of us. It comes from living as the totality of You.
And so I decided I will openly co-create with my non-physical Self on the blog. I will answer my own and others questions. I’ve written two of those kind of posts now and it feels really good to do it this way. It gives me tons of information, channeled by myself, while at the same time I can value, appreciate and accept the role of both parts of me. This makes me feel complete and I am so happy to finally have found a way to express my Self fully! 🙂
And you know what the best part is? I don’t even care anymore whether others read it or like it, because it is my own medicine, my own journey, my own fulfillment. But on the other hand I have never been more sure that this is valuable stuff for other people as well. So things are going to change in my life, because of me opening up.
Hugs back to you! It’s been great co-creating with you as well! 🙂
ps: I’ve decided to write my blog in Dutch and not use my time to translate them and keep an English website as well, because I want to focus primarily on Duth folks first.
I’m coming to this a bit late in the day, but at the right time for me. I’ve struggled with the how much should I share question for a long time, and a few months ago decided that actually, I needed to be honest. You see, I’m a natural therapist and I have heart and kidney failure. I made the decision that I was going to fight using my own natural tools rather than hospital medications. I thought that sharing my struggle would make people think less of me as a practitioner ‘she’s ill so how can she help me’ or even that it would look badly on natural medicine.
It made me feel hugely vulnerable, and I was terrified, but the response was fantastic. I found that creating a blog where I honestly wrote about my own struggle has a) given people a massive insight into what it’s like to be someone in my situation b) inspired people to do more with their own lives and also to look differently at natural medicine and c) given me a huge support network I never would have had otherwise.
I’ve had clietns come to me solely because I’ve been so honest, so they know I understand their struggle. And I’ve had people who have no belief in natural medicine whatsoever turn to me and say ‘wow, if it can keep you alive then maybe there is something in it’.
For me, honesty has definitely been the best policy. And it’s actually really helped me on my journey. But it is bloody scary and difficult and sometimes, especially my lately, I do worry that I have said too much. But the response from other people reassures me that maybe that’s exactly what I need to do.
Wow wow wow Callie. If there ever was a real life example of personal sharing in a business setting that was done right, this is it. I am so inspired by your courage and openness in talking about your health challenges.
In fact, it makes SO much sense and ADDS to your credibility (as you’ve seen) cos you’re not just talking the talk but walking it too.
Of COURSE I too would rather work with someone who has used their own strategies to get better / become successful and shared the process as they went along, over someone who has never suffered from what I’m suffering / experienced what I have cos that’s what BINDs, connects and creates empathy.
The worry over having said too much? That’s not you. It’s your gremlins, the saboteurs and voices in your head that you’ve carried with you since childhood. The wanting to look good, seem professional and put together (I get misled by those too), whereas the real sharing you do, comes from your essential self who KNOWS that life is precious and you’ll far regret the things you didn’t do than the things you did do.
Kudos to you for doing it your way and thank you SO much for sharing your story here. You are much appreciated.