So ya’ll know I’m doing this thing.
Along with 2000 other bloggers, I’m reflecting on 2010 & everything that happened (or didn’t) + being intentional about 2011.
The Timing:
It’s been a fascinating year. The word I chose to describe it? Illuminate.
And about half a dozen more – tumultous, smeary windshield, courage, resistance, butterflying, big leap.
I think what I’m saying is, it was contradictory.
Dec 4 How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)
How indeed – By going down rabbit holes, swallowing the red pill, living in a state of excitement, discovery, caterpillarism, fear, courage and sheer human-ness. What a RIDE!! And you know what? I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I have wondered ALL year, every day.
This isn’t bad, just highly illuminating. Oh see, we’re back where we started.
There’s a lot I understood and did, a lot I resisted with all my subconscious might.
No matter, for where I am today is so far along this journey into integrity, self, beliefs, mindset & choice, that #reverb10 might just have been created for me (I’m a fab manifestor!)
The Challenge:
The biggest thorn has been clarity. Or lack thereof.
What’s been 9 months in the unveiling, is very very close and it’s time to step back & allow the path to show itself. This takes trust & guts. I have plenty of both.
I wasn’t sure where to take my blog and business. I didn’t know whether to focus on my passion for social media and business or personal development and growth. I was torn. I made progress, but slowly.
The one thing I AM super glad about is that I soldiered on amidst the confusion. Because sometimes, you need to go through fog before you can see clearly again. In fact, in business, it’s pretty much a given.
Idea –> Hone –> Confusion –> Clarity –> Refine –> Celebrate –> Evolve –> Repeat.
Michaelangelo said it best “Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it” & “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free”.
So if you’ve gone through a testing time in your business (or life) wondering what to focus on, what you really want, which direction to head, take heart, you’re in the exalted company of artists.
Keep your eye on your vision, your WHY, and let the “form”, your Angel, reveal itself. It will.
The Process:
I read 75 books this year. I attended about 7 conferences. I stuck my hand out to volunteer at events like Mike Dooley’s Tut tour, I got invited to a whole bunch of other events. I became the Yes woman of anything learning related. The Year of the Sponge.
All the while thinking, this is it, NOW I’ll know, now I’ll be able to pick my focus and direction.
Oh if it were that easy!
I tried to let my heart speak but let logic and my head decide. None of them felt right. I looked for answers outside of me, I asked people, I hired coaches and 9 months later, I was still asking the same questions, knowing yet not hearing or seeing that the outside isn’t where the answers are.
The outside isn’t where purpose lives.
You know this, right? And yet, like me, you’ve probably been like the tide – ebbing & flowing with the pull of the moon and resisting it somewhat.
This is normal, natural and a fact of life – the sooner you embrace the uncertainty & undulating nature of business & life, the simpler it will be. Maybe no easier, but a heck of a lot simpler. And maybe even easier?!
LETTING GO:
It’s not a luxury, it’s a necessity to reflect. This month, I am giving myself FULL permission to explore. To not know. To take it up a notch and write as if I had a million in the bank, and nothing to gain from my writing.
As in, I’m not writing to help anyone, attract clients, comments, readers, or for money, fame, success, appreciation. Be great if that happens, but those are the outcomes of intention.
Instead, I’m writing what wants to be written. Zero Agenda.
To give 2011 a headstart.
Heart.
What does my heart want this month? To play, explore, delve in, get messy, trust, be trusted. It wants to be fluid, give gifts of time, coaching & books, blog a lot, talk about passion, connect with people on skype, talk about whatever I want without worrying about how I am perceived. It wants me to come from intention, not out-tention.
Believe.
Write as if I already have everything I ever wanted and have helped and made a difference and now all that is left is to explore my year in reverse and see how it came to be. Express myself with no restrictions.
I have NO idea what’s going to happen as a result!
Will I realise I want to live in the woods and get rid of my online life?
Will I go the Author route? Blogger route? Coach route?
All of them? None of them?
Will I let any of the above be my identity? None of the above? What then?
I don’t know.
All I know is that this is incredibly freeing.
Dec 5 What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)
Expectations, mine and others
Hiding my true desires
Limiting Beliefs
Trying too hard
Not being Good Enough
Confusion & Indecision
Resistance
Being someone I’m not
Because I’ve got one shot at making this life the best I can, and that means being bold & taking risks.
Because I don’t have it all together and I want you to know that, especially if you’re worrying you don’t either. Let’s be ecstactic about this!
What I DO have is the willingness to let it come together. In unexpected ways. What I AM doing is holding on and letting go.
And asking with wide eyed openness: I wonder what will happen?
You can too.
This Dec, I give myself permission to Be and Do as Spirit moves me.
I’d love for you to be along for the reverb ride and participate – it’s never too late! Who knows what may happen as a result?
I hope that my journey will be useful to you, however, I cannot give you permission to be you – only you can.
The Action(s):
Blogging 3-5 times a week as opposed to the usual 2 on topics that may be all over the place and bring up all sorts of musings. I’ll accommodate #reverb10 prompts and if they trigger something else, I’ll follow my gut.
Starting with a bunch of shoulds, crossing them out & moving onto the wants. Let the fun begin!
- Pick a niche and stick to it
- Guest post for popular blogs
- Launch a Social Media course or product ‘cos everyone is
- Do things that will bring me money
- Blog about social media, business, coaching
- Hang out with the cool kids
- Send an ezine out twice a month or else people will ‘forget’ me
Intents:
- Write with reverb, even if unrelated to anything I’ve ever talked about
- Let my heart lead, without worrying about consequences
- Get on skype with new lifestyler friends and just chat without an agenda
- Be Intentional with Social Media like I was earlier this year
- Celebrate all the crazy things I’ve done that make me unconventional & quirky
- A gift of coaching to the first 10 people to express interest. Leave a comment here to reserve your spot &/ email me what you want coaching on: tia at coachtia.com, no strings attached 🙂
- I’ve never done anything like this before but in keeping with my Dec intention, I’m following my heart’s desire. Being happily “homeless” is one – fun, powerful and impactful coaching as a gift (normally $477) is another. I look forward to hearing from you!
Now I have 2 questions for you. What would your life feel, look & be like if you stopped living upto:
1) Other people’s expectations?
2) Your own expectations?
What if you played with this question for a week and let yourself be as carefree as possible? What would happen? It may or may not work for you but wouldn’t it be illuminating to know? Will you give yourself this gift today?
Take on this thought / challenge / whatever you want to call it and see what comes up. Share your learning and experience around what life would be like without expectations (the “good” or “bad” ones). Which would you choose to keep and which would you let go?
”The way this works is, you do the thing you’re scared of and you get the courage after you do it, not before you do it.” George Clooney in Three Kings.
Will you share what came up? Thank you.
This is such a penetrating (and poetic) insight:
“Write as if I already have everything I ever wanted and have helped and made a difference and now all that is left is to explore my year in reverse and see how it came to be.”
To write, and also to dream as if it’s already done. This is how I try to step outside of the routine; to let go of the need to have everything figured out, to be practical, and reasonable. To imaging life without obligations and see what the heart really wants.
The basic tenet of all manifestation! Create your vision, know the end result and then trace back to the beginning. Napoleon Hill, Wayne Dyer, Abe-Hicks, Steve Pavlina, heck, this is a Universal Law.
I can’t believe it’s taken me all year to finally do this, but then again – this has been a year of courage and that is precisely why I AM doing this. Frack, I’m getting so excited now! Looking forward to you finding out what your heart really wants and having the integrity to go for it 🙂
So clear! Can’t help but agree that this is such a creative insight! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for reading, I’m so appreciative of everyone who gives me the gift of their time.
This: “write as if I had a million in the bank, and nothing to gain from my writing.” is GOLD. Thank you. Deep Bow. Exactly what this woman needed to hear.
“Have no Expectations” is the first piece I teach in my creativity courses. I’m pretty good with this, except lately with my writing. Again, thank you. Deep Bow.
Love,
Julie
You humble me Julie. We all have areas that need extra love and nurturing, usually those are the ones closest to our souls. Your writing is so powerful, you come from the heart and simply glow. I’m honoured that my words connected with you. Thank YOU.
“The outside isn’t where purpose lives. You know this, right? And yet, like me, you’ve probably been like the tide – ebbing & flowing with the pull of the moon and resisting it somewhat.”
– Yes, the resistance! The only thing that is perfectly clear to me and my own resistance is the stronger the resistance, the stronger the fear, the more I know it is exactly the path I need to follow. Tia, you are truly inspiring!!
Part of my own resistance has been putting my website live without it being perfect, or finished. In fact I have changed the template three times in two days. BUT My website is live!! I’m editing it as you read this. Ha. All this from the perfectionist at heart.
I mentioned to a good friend of mine that I would really like to be able to find the $$ to hire you as a coach (three days ago, in fact), then I read here you are gifting this service!!! I LOVE the universe! I will send you an email as well.
-Lora
Ahhhh so t’was YOU who manifested my gift of coaching 😉 I’ve always thought about it but never do anything untill it really feels right so all of a sudden, it felt right a day ago. Well Ms Lora, you’re already a master manifestor, congrats!
I want to see that website and am very very excited for you – I remember when I launched my 1st, 2nd and 3rd, the thrill never goes away. I am SOOO delighted we’ll get to work together! Yay!
Tia, this is an amazing post. There are so many thoughts expressed that resonate with me and get me charged up. I think my past year has been a bit of your journey of the last year as well, mine in both personal and professional life due to an injury that has impacted everything for me, so I’m glad to know I’m in the company of artists. 🙂
“So if you’ve gone through a testing time in your business (or life) wondering what to focus on, what you really want, which direction to head, take heart, you’re in the exalted company of artists.”
Have a wonderful month. Can’t wait to see what else you have to say as you liberate yourself from all the “shoulds.”
PS: I’ll take you on your coaching offer. Thanks.
I’m getting the feeling my journey is everyone’s journey whether at the same stage or ahead or behind a step or two. Fascinating how different and yet how similar we all are. I’d love to coach you – go ahead & email me at tia at coachtia.com if you haven’t already & let’s set it up. Thanks for giving me the honour 🙂
While reading your post I felt at times you were speaking to me and at other times like I was writing the post.
I know the universal laws and do my best to live by them but of course I am human and at times find myself searching for answers on the outside that I know can only be found on the inside. I was so busy being busy in 2010 that I am not sure how long I actually listened to the glimpses of wisdom from my heart before moving straight to my head.
I am excited to share in this amazing reflective journey with you.
In your headdddddd in your headdddddd what’s in your headddddd .. The Cranberries have our number, Kate! You were busy being busy and I was busy being resistant to the important stuff. I read, practised, acted, meditated, be-ed and yet, I know all the times I knew something was spiritually important and glazed over it.
All in good time, methinks. I don’t regret a minute of this year gone by, for everything serves a purpose and patterns have been discovered. Not to say I won’t ever live or look for answers outside, and yet, this may just be a turning point in how OFTEN I do.
I’m blessed & happy to have you be along for the ride, and to learn from your experience & insights as well. Hey, I see you’re in Vancouver – would love to meet IRL if you’re ever downtown so lemme know, k?
i love you. love your spirit, your smile, your generosity. love your attitude, your knowledge, your willingness. love more, but the lasagne is ready, so have to run & want time to tweet this out so nobody misses it.
If being from the South wasn’t reason enough already to adore you, this is, Miss Jeanne! You’re the epitome of FGMness all around 🙂 Am I ever glad I hopped on this wagon x Thank you x
I love the way the five prompts came together, intertwined and fueled this post. Now letting the notion of intention as opposed to out-tention sink in and come back with soul feedback. 🙂 As for your two questions, I don’t have the answers… yet… but feel a very strong (and pleasant) pull in the direction of whatever it is that my life is becoming. It’s coming together. 🙂
And while I’m at it, yes, I’ll take you on the offer as well. 🙂
I’m writing this before reading the other comments, and if there are 10 expressions of interest up there already, then so it is…
I know, right!? And here I was a tad anxious that I was gonna fall behind. Ha! HA! Thanks for expressing interest in the coaching, you have INCA in your blog/name, how could I say no? Go ahead and email me at tia at coachtia.com if you haven’t already, I’d love to help you delve deeper into the delicious goodness that’s emerging. YES, how fun!
What would your life feel, look & be like if you stopped living upto:
1) Other people’s expectations? I dont think I ever have.
2) Your own expectations? Whoa. I had a coach earlier in the year who asked me this every time. And every time I told him it was something I could not fathom. Im pretty certain that personal expectations are what drives me to succeed. But I also know that if I could rid myself of them, Id be happy not to ‘succeed’, and just ‘be’.
You know how sometimes you meet people with really simple, uncluttered, honest lives, and they dont get to see/do/be nearly half the thing you have, and yet you still envy them……?
Kaye, you have me curious – how did it make you feel when he asked you that question? I don’t think we can ever rid ourselves of expectations, these questions are more to shine a light on how much of what we say and do is guided by others and how much by our own misguided selves vs our essential selves.
Personal expectations like wanting to be the best version of you, making a difference, living with integrity & so on, are what inspire us to greater and happier heights. So yeah, when you envy people with simple, uncluttered lives what you’re really doing is shining the spotlight on what’s important to you – experiences AND simplicity, success AND contentment.
See, I think where we trip up is in thinking we can have either-or. When really, we can have and-and. Kinda blows your mind to think, huh. What’s possible in an AND-AND life..?
I got such a delicious thrill at seeing those “shoulds” crossed out!!! “In the exalted company of artists” — I love how that sounds.
My year has been similar to yours in so many ways. I’m still looking to find my voice and direction. And just this last week, I asked myself why I create this “PLANS” and stick to them when my playful child would rather build sandcastles.
Since you’ve given me permission (not really, but I love the validation), I’m crossing out a bunch of things from my list. It’s interesting that I’d already made a commitment to following source instead of shoulds. And here you are on the same path. What delights will it take us to? It will be fun to find out!!
As usual, you write with such flair and honesty and warmth–your words are like the music that plays at carnivals. It just calls you to come in and have a good time!! 🙂
If there’s still a spot open, I’d love to take you up on the generous coaching offer.
I’m particularly proud of that line Ande, it was a sheer genius moment! I did give you permission to give yourself permission so yay for striking the shoulds out – that was my fave part of writing this post, I relished copy-pasting the html code
BOOMNo coinkidinks here my love, source over shoulds, send me an email lickety split & let’s get going with some juicy exploring into neverneverland!
ps: this might just be the awesomest compliment ever “you write with such flair and honesty and warmth–your words are like the music that plays at carnivals. It just calls you to come in and have a good time!!” Awwwww, thank you Ande & Ducky!
Tia,
I LOVE this!! And I love that you are embracing YOU, where you are now…at that heart level! What a beautiful place to “be”….
I have spent this last year saying “no” to a lot of things…so that I can say “yes” more deeply to what matters to me. It’s been a journey, and one that’s been so good to travel…
I’m along for the long haul here – I completely soak in the message you share (okay…if you end up moving into the woods…then I might not follow completely along…that would probably border on stalking, anyway…and that’s just creepy…).
I think I just snorted! But.. but .. we could scare bears and swing from trees in the woods! You could bring your family and food, I’d bring friends and fun 😀
We did this year opposite.. I’ve spent it avoiding what really matters and saying yes to inconsequential (and some very impactful) things. I did it fully aware though, so it’s all good. Guess I was building up reserves, testing the water and daring myself to dive in.
Here we are. Diving in. Going underwater this time, a good, deep, long spell that leaves me gasping for air as I come up. Cleansing. Liberating. My heart’s already beating fast as I think deep dives. Whew! Love that I get to hang out with you on this journey Lanci x
Beautiful Tia…you sparkle no matter what you’re living and experiencing. And the very essence that shines through you is your willingness to BE who you are in front of us all. That takes courage, yes. And Self Love. Self Love is the root…the Gateway, I believe, to all else. When one can be fully committed to oneself, ones own happiness, not dependent on another…willing to live with oneself and HUG through all the foggy spots until the clarity reveals itself, that’s when one SHINES the brightest. Keep shining!
And…just so you know? I see the Angel inside the rock of marble…and she looks a whole lot like you. Every day, choose again, and again..set her free. “Brilliant, talented, gorgeous…who are you not to be? You are a gift from God…” (Marianne Williamson) SHINE ON, Sister!
XO Debra :o)
That’s the missing link in my post Debs – SELF LOVE! Thanks for chiming in with that. I’m just so fired up about not wasting another moment in self doubt and holding myself back for fear of unknown, unforeseen rejection and failure. Sod that!
I see the Angel too, gosh she’s summin glowy isn’t she 🙂 Lovely inside and out. Thanks for peeking in for me & showing me where she’s hanging out. Gosh, I feel compelled to make some decisions here and now.
I’ve decided & am willing:
To be the leader that I am, that the world needs.
To be uncomfortable in the pursuit of integrity and push on regardless.
To be fearless in my words, thoughts and actions.
To believe in myself and my worth, wholeheartedly, as my birthright.
To see and empower brilliant potential in everyone I meet.
To live the happiest, bestest, most fulfilling life I can, to take the big leap into wild abundance, success, love and joy.
Ohh Debra, thank you.
Reverb10 is truly the kick in the butt I needed. Not only to get myself blogging in a way that makes sense and brings meaning to the reader. But, also, as a way to get my head screwed on straight in time to bring in a New Year – one I have many plans for.
Good luck and blessings to all of us!
Gotta ‘ppreciate how it all comes together with perfect timing hey. What are some of your plans for the New Year? Just read your post and I am cheering for the Trying times to being about the Progress you’re expecting, woohoo! You go, girl x
2011 is a year that I hope to be one in which I reclaim my health and my voice as I think these are two of the largest stumbling blocks to the progress I hope to make.
That’s as good as any – health is # 1. Adding my sparklicious juju to your health & voice mojo, with the two of us at “work”, you’ll be unstoppable 🙂
As another commenter said, I love seeing all those shoulds crossed out. Great visual! At a time of deep transition and transformation in my own life, this was exactly what I needed to read. Timing is indeed everything!
Setting my intention for 2011 by choosing a word. I choose a word every year as a guide word, a word to help me focus. Not a resolution. Not a should. My word for 2010 is “attend.” I will choose my new word for 2011 New Year’s Eve.
Wonderful post. Thanks!
*BIG grin* Yes on timing, Yes on non-shoulding, Yes on Intentions! And YES on following your own path and doing what resonates best ie, choosing your word on NYE. I love your conviction and colourful blog – did you come by via the Life Lessons Series? Isn’t that such an amazing initiative!? Your name conjures up nature and magic – 2 things I adore. Thanks for reading & commenting, new friend Galen!
Yes, I did find you from the Life Lessons Series, and yes, it is an amazing initiative. In fact, I wrote a blog post about it. I am so excited about being part of such a diverse and fascinating group! I’m trying to check out one or two blogs a day from the series.
Nature and magic?! No one has said that about my name before. I love that!
I look forward to reading more of your blog. Thanks for visiting mine, too. Glad you liked it!
Good on you for checking out the rest of the blogs, I haven’t done that yet. Yes, your name is totally mystical and makes me want to go for a long walk in the woods! Glad to meet you & see you here again soon 🙂
Breathtaking! There is so much wisdom in this post Tia!
“Because sometimes, you need to go through fog before u can see clearly again.” AY, true.
“The outside isn’t where purpose lives.” Amen, sister!
“This Dec, I give myself permission to Be and Do as Spirit moves me.” YAY, with you!
The list of words that grab me can keep on going! I love your journey and the joy you
bring to everything, the authenticity, the passion, the truth, the will to be all that you are.
I resonate with it all, living from the heart is my motto. A joy to find you on this path!
You shine, you sparkle and you inspire!
I re-iterated it today Marjory! As I was walking home from TedXVancouver, I closed my umbrella and let the rain come down on me, stood on the side of the Burrard Bridge, looked out at the city lights & into the sky and proclaimed that I was not just ready, I was owning, claiming and shouting from the rooftops that I am a fearless leader stepping into my 1000% life! Not 100%, but 1000% love, success and abundance!! It was SOOO empowering and liberating.
And now I have a cold. Hahahah totally worth it though, sometimes grand dramatic gestures are called for 😀 Everytime I read a post or comment from you it makes me smile, for you have a way with words that validates and warms so easily. Thank you!
So grateful to see you are giving yourself permission… love the crossed out shoulds. Made me smile in ear-to-ear recognition.
From gut to heart to action and back again…. now that is a life well lived, my love, that is a life well lived.
Thank you for all you do on behalf of all the #reverb10 bloggers. I am appreciating it mightily!
With Love,
Julie Jordan Scott
Gracias Julie, for the kind words.
December is a gift, & since it’s my birthday on Sunday it feels like I really am giving myself the most luxurious gift of time and space and permission to do and say what I want all month long.
Not that I don’t do that all year anyways but this, this is different for I’ve cast aside fear and rejection and other such evil gremlins and there’s nothing but expression to be shared! Hallelujah! Glad to have made your reverb10ance 🙂
Thanks to Julie Daley and wholly jeanne I have found you. There is much that resonates in me here. In rereading your expectations questions, I realize that for every layer of myself, of old habits and beliefs, that I peel away, there is another and another and still another to hold lovingly, compassionately and then let go of. I’ll be back 🙂
Welcome Alana, the best part about reverb is the amazing people I’m meeting. So freakin awesome! I just read your post about what you let go of this year – my heart goes out to you & I want to surround you with love! I’ll be following your journey too and look forward to connecting with you further xo
Seriously, I adore you. I know we are meant to be soul mates because we’re always at the same place in our lives. It’s comforting actually because I really respect you and what you’re doing, especially the way you put yourself out there so authentically.
Pretty please pick me for a skype date. I know we’ll have lots to talk about!
Sarah my girl, I am backlogged with my emails but I will find you on skype very soon as the next few days = some breathing space so I can finally set up skype dates & coaching sessions with all the lovely people who emailed me. If anyone else is reading this, I got your emails and I will reply soon!
I can hardly believe it’s one week into December and so much has changed – my life in 8 boxes, g’bye apartment of 2 years, crashing on my brother’s couch, visiting rellies and holding 3 week old babies in my arms for hours while they sleep and I type, walking in the rain and shouting for joy .. yes m’darling, we are SO due for a chat!
ps: muchos gracias chiquita, you make my heart sing 🙂
Here I’m sitting with a great big goofy grin on my face – you are such a darn inspiring woman!! And I think I’m gonna put those infuriating, angst inducing, paralyzing and closed-box-tinking evoking shoulds up on a wall and spray paint them over with gold, silver and sparkle paint! They have been haunting me for the last year and a half like a really insitant pecking-you-on-the-noggin-ghouls. So, be gone you!
*furioulsly chasing the thing out of my life with a broomstick*
You said sparkle paint! Omg sparkle paint!! Come to Vancouver, I PROMISE you we shall take gold and silver and paint a broomstick sparkly mad as we chase those shoulds outta your hair Could ANYTHING be more fun!? You and your exuberance have me so excited about our little adventure, join me in #reverb10?
Hi Tia! I’ve been thinking about this….
“Now I have 2 questions for you. What would your life feel, look & be like if you stopped living upto: 1) Other people’s expectations? 2) Your own expectations?”
At first, I think I would be free. But when I really think about it – I wonder how much drive I would have? If I don’t expect certain things of myself, will I get them done? Will I not care? Or will I keep going and achieve everything because I have no pressure? Or will I just ‘be’ and have no stress?
But like you said to Kaye above, how much of our own expectations are guided by others? I think plenty…even if we don’t realize it. Maybe others expectations of us are subconsciously setting our own expectations of ourselves?? Wow – this is much to think about.
🙂
And therein lies the conundrum, ay Diana.
Without expectations who ARE we? How would we know what to strive for? Would we find our North Star intuitively? What would happen if we lived that way? What would we do?
Not saying never have expectations, but that the answers might reveal what our hearts truly desire, what part of our actions are societal conditioning vs following our instincts. I’m exploring these questions right along with you. Would love to hear if anything else comes up for you.
Thanks for playing, lovely 🙂