Spoiler Alert!
Have you seen Penelope?
It’s the story of a blue blooded girl who is born cursed – with the nose of a pig.
The only way to get rid of that curse is to find true love with “one of her own kind”. Which the family takes to mean a young man from the same strata of society.
Many suitors come and go as they realise no amount of money is worth marrying such an ugly, pig faced girl.
Poor little thing.
(She so desperately wants to be normal.)
Then one day, she runs away from home. Has a few adventures and comes back home to get married to a guy who wants that money. And soon comes to a Very Important Conclusion, one that changes her life and everything as she knows it.
Right after she runs away from her almost- wedding saying “I like myself the way I am,” when she stops trying to get rid of the curse (what you resist persists!) and declares that she loves herself pig snout and all (acknowledges her reality), something happens.
Her pig snout is magically replaced with a cute little nose.
A Miracle! How could this be! Penelope realises after all these years, that she had the power to change herself all along. She just had to love herself first ..
She didn’t know that though. Didn’t believe in herself. How could she, when no one else did? (well she could, but that’s a different story!)
Years spent waiting for her true love to come and rescue her, when all she needed was to love and rescue herself.
How many of us are like her, I wonder? Waiting for someone else (our partner, parents, kids, boss, friends) to make us happy, make it all better or make it all go away?
Truly, self love is the biggest love of all. I don’t mean that in a selfish, look out for yourself all the time kinda way, I mean it in the ”Love yourself so you can love others and let them love you” kinda way. Then again, I have a feeling you know exactly what I mean.
Fyi, A vital component of self love is knowing when to take time out. Consistently.
You are NOT selfish for cancelling all your appointments, backing out of commitments, taking yourself away for a day or two, saying NO or for wanting to take care of yourself in the best way for you.
Remember, we change what’s on the outside by changing what’s on the inside. And for that, sometimes, we all need a little time out.
It’s scary no doubt. With all the people who depend on you – who might think you are being irresponsible or selfish if you put yourself ahead of their needs. Ask yourself, don’t you deserve it too?
Well, I do. And I am.
At midnight tonight, I am turning off my computer and going offline till Friday. I may even stretch it to the weekend but 2 days is the minimum I am giving to myself.
Well Tia, you probably don’t have much going on then, you say?
Au contraire, this month has been the busiest, biggest, craziest month I have had in terms of commitments, new projects, writing, various challenges, assignments and what have you.
So much so that I am nervous about being out of touch on email, twitter, facebook, with clients, and the gazillion things I have to do!
But I know this one thing for sure – focusing on externals when the internal hasn’t caught up paves the path for overwhelment, failure to launch and giving up.
If you listen closely to your intuition and all the signs around you, you will learn to trust (as I am), that this can only be good. To share your gifts with the world, you first need to share them with yourself.
So while I honour myself with extreme self care and love, connect with nature and myself, walk, read, journal and surprise myself for the next 2 days, I invite you to do something for yourself too.
Today, do one thing purely for YOU.
You are the most important person in your and your people`s lives and to be your best, you simply must treat yourself as someone worthy and precious of that.
Go buy your favourite magazine, sip a latte with a friend, go for a drive, buy yourself flowers, grab a beer, take a nap.
Me, I’m outta here like a fat kid on cake, like a bear on honey, like a dress on prom night. Until the weekend, adios and much love to you guys and gals!
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Ps: What are some of YOUR favourite ways of looking after yourself and taking Time Out? Please share them with us so we can all learn from each other, thanks in advance and see you on the flip side. Really looking forward to reading your comments when I get back 🙂
YAY for TIA!!!! I love every post you share, my friend. And I love this one like crazy ’cause it’s one of the most important themes you’ll ever touch on…and one of the most important all of us can give our awareness to.
I loved Penelope, the movie! What a great example for talking about Self Love!
I’m a Self Love fanatic. (That must sound so crazy to those who are still thinking that being selfish is a bad thing…)
Thanks for recognizing the need in yourself for a time out…and for giving yourself one…RIGHT NOW! What a gift. …not only for you, but for everyone of us who’s path you touch. (Can you seriously get any better?? 🙂 )
When we give ourselves permission to be with ourselves…in a loving, nurturing, ‘I’m there for you’ kind of a way…it’s like getting the best bear hug ever! It feels sooo goood. The connection with our Divine Self deepens…and we all know what happens then. Our vibration rises yet again, we’re more aligned with the Pure Brilliance we were born to be, we beam Happy-Power-Joy-JOY all over the place…and our lives and the lives of those around us are infinitely more alive and enriched simply because we said YES! to falling more deeply in Self Love!
Pretty darn cool.
Oh yeah, you asked what some of my favorite time outs for myself include~
First of all, I look at every day and say…OK, where is my time-out today? I need one every day…and if I don’t feel I’m giving myself that I get kinda cranky…and then I need a BIG time out…which is OK too…but, getting them every day makes me feel SUPER Special & keeps the whole ‘overwhelm’ thing out of the picture.
My favorite time-outs include one or more of the following:
Time with my horse, Lindy Rose…at liberty…in the pasture, being one w/the herd
Walking in nature…especially a forest trail
Reading my favorite book of the moment
Soaking in my hot tub or extra large soak tub~immersing myself in water feels so yummy
Cooking or Baking~when it’s just for fun, something special and creative…at a time of my choosing…but even making dinner each night feels like ‘time-out’ activity most of the time (think Chocolat!)
Listening to my fave music & letting my inner rock star shine (except I’m usually singing along with Snatam Kaur or Tina Malia, hardly rock stars…but their music stirs my soul!)
Laying on the floor with my dog, Ashki for some scratch & snuggle time
…that’s the short of it! The list could easily go on and on.
I’ve created our home as a sanctuary/retreat in and of itself. Everything I need (except my horse, she’s a few miles down the road) is right here…including a mini forest for tree hugging and contemplation space. When your home space supports your desire to connect to your full Brilliance, Self Love becomes second nature…it’s just so easy to give yourself what you need.
I’m so excited and happy for you, Tia!!! You GO Girl!
Much LOVE and JOY… Debra (@debsoul)
PS~ I’m feeling this turning into a post for Earth~Harmony~Home…thanks for the inspiration, you sweet little Self Love Bug! <3 XO
PPS~ Reading your post and writing this (now very lengthy) comment felt like a great Self Love Hug for this morning!! Thanks for that! Mwah!!
I am so proud of you for taking time off. I am always to glad when I’ve taken time off.
Here are some of the things I love to do is:
*Get Physical – go and physically do something like go for a walk, a hike or go work in my yard – do something with my kids outside.
*Read a good book or watch an inspiring movie
*Go do something with a friend – live and in person
The things that one can do are many & varied – but the important thing is to take time to rejuvenate your inner person.
I love your story & application about the movie Penelope. It makes me think of what I have been learning from Joan Sotkin – she says true wealth is attracted to us when we love our selves and attend to or count our money.
Miss Tia, you have such a gift for writing! This post (like all of your others) comes from your heart and soul . . . and touches ours.
I am so happy to see you taking some “me” time! We all need that time to ourselves to recharge our batteries and ponder things without interruption. Just think how different the world would be if everyone practiced extreme self-care and love . . . 🙂
I hadn’t heard about Penelope, but was able to watch enough of it on Youtube to know that I have to see it!
May your days away be filled with quiet contemplation, enjoying the beautiful outdoors, and anything and everything good that will nourish your soul, Tia.
Just had to come back and let you know that I just watched Penelope . . . twice! Absolutely loved it! And loved at the end where the little boy says, “It’s not the power of the curse . . . it’s the power you give the curse.” We give the meaning to everything in life.
What powerful messages this movie had in it! I can’t believe I’ve never heard of it before. Thank you for recommending it, Tia and Debra!
Wow! This is wild because this is so timely for me. I have wanted and needed me-time for a long time. All I want is a week off to write, but I keep signing on to more projects. The words my coach asked me continue to echo in my head, “It sounds like you are busy, but are you doing your priorities?”
I am not. And I am not making very good use of my time either because I am neglecting myself. I am going to schedule a day, two if I can pull it off, next week for me-time. I want a week, but I will be happy for one day.
Thank you, Tia, for the permission and encouragement to make my priorities my priority!
Deb you’re just the cutest 🙂 Every comment you write is so full of joy and happiness, I’ll have some of what you’re on sista!
I’m rather proud of myself too. One, for taking the time when I needed it rather than wait for the weekend, and two, for not dying without the internet (haha kidding .. I wasn’t in any real danger 😉
In fact I didn’t miss it ONE bit and for a self diagnosed internet addict, that’s huge. I have been saved by Eckhart Tolle and my inner wisdom. Yay!
In all “seriousness” though, what a blessing to just be w/o consequences. I learned the diff between fear and consequences too – so cool. Fear is an outcome we resist. A consequence is an outcome we accept.
Indeed, connecting with myself before connecting with others amplifies the happy happy joy joy 🙂 I’m SO glad I did this and from now on, I’m going to make a conscious effort to take time outs. Cos yeah, I end up needing the major T.O’s when really, I cld have small ones more often hey..
ps: love your faves – very similar to mine. baked a cake at midnight starting the time off and ate it over 2 days hahaha.
pps: did you know ashki means “love” in hindi?
ppps: I so want to visit your delightful sanctuary one day!
PS~ I’m feeling this turning into a post for Earth~Harmony~Home…thanks for the inspiration, you sweet little Self Love Bug! <3 XO
PPS~ Reading your post and writing this (now very lengthy) comment felt like a great Self Love Hug for this morning!! Thanks for that! Mwah!!
Thanks Melody 🙂 I love that I decided on Monday evening and was able to do it without any adverse consequences. I felt a little bad rescheduling some appointments wondering if people would think I was being flighty or “irresponsible” so that was a good fear to face. Besides, almost nothing is irreversible hey.
I went for a walk – in the rain! And read. And journaled. I tried to convince myself to go to the gym but it wasn’t happening so I let it be. I also napped a lot. Told my body to sleep whenever and however long needed. So good!
Haven’t heard of Joan Sotkin but I LIKE what she has to say!! Thanks for sharing that and for dropping by 🙂
It’s such a powerful movie, ay Carol! Glad you enjoyed it (confession: i’ve seen it 3 times and cried every time).
Tell you what, although I suffer from “productivity-ism” sometimes, for the most part am I ever glad that following my feel good takes # 1 place over making myself do things I don’t love! And taking time out, that decision was SUPER easy for me albeit a bit anxious about being “out of touch”. That feeling didn’t last long at all.
My focus will now be on doing something consciously for myself everyday. I LOVE the big downtime blocks of time too, though..
“It’s not the power of the curse . . . it’s the power you give the curse.” We give the meaning to everything in life <----------------- 🙂 I know, right!? Always a pleasure to see you here Carol, thank you for the wonderful words, I'm still smiling at how good they make me feel. I appreciate you xoxo
Berta, looks like that age old trap we fall into – of equating busy-ness with productivity. If we all did 5 things a 1000 times over, it would be more effective than 5000 things once over (just read that on someone’s blog today – can’t remember who but crediting him anyways)
Your priority is always a priority sweetheart! Trust that this time is nourishment for your soul, not a “like to” but a “must have”. Do what you have to to take that time out. I suspect the work lies in believing that you deserve that time, in embracing it as a birthright (rather than actually finding the time). It’s a mindset that’s for sure. Drive by fear usually. Fear of “everything will collapse if I take time off” or “I’ll be wasting my time when I could be doing a,b,c instead”.
Nah. It really came home to me that everything that happens externally flows from an internal place. For my world to be as I want it, I have to create from within. From this perspective, time for me isn’t a luxury anymore, it’s a necessity.
Start with that day and be careful not to “try to do it all”. The time is for you to be. Let the action flow from that place of being… so much easier and more fruitful 🙂
Yay for you!
Hi Tia!
I just found your blog today and how appropriate to find the Time-out post! 🙂
Thanks for the reminder for all of us: how we always look at how far we have to go instead of looking at how far we’ve come! That’s very profound!
I have my “me” day on Friday. I call Friday my favorite day of the week and I don’t schedule anything. There is the occasional thing I *must*do, but for the most part, I just let the day take me where it will. Sometimes I spend a lot of tmie reading – all kinds of things, depending on my mood. Or, I might sit outside on the patio – getting some sun and fresh air is heavenly. It also gives me time to watch our puppy playing.
I have recently relearned the same lesson – that everything I need is within me. I know I’ve talked about it lots of times becase I became *aware* of it a few yeares ago, but I didn’t really become AWARE that I do HAVE everything I need, untl recently. I am living the life of my dreams – I created this life and it’s AMAZING!! When we realize that we don’t have to go looking for it, we just need to accept it and when we do, the doors and windows of opportunity fling open!
I’m so grateful for my discovery today!
A pleasure to have you here Joanne, I’m glad you found a post that spoke to you 🙂 Confession: I love Mondays AND Fridays! That’s cos I decided a few years ago to not work on Mondays and so it feels like my week is much shorter when it starts on a Tuesday hehe.
You’re a step ahead of me in that you actually take that time out for yourself whereas I’m attached to my laptop! I’m going to change that though.
You’ve got me VERY curious and excited to hear more about your story – how did you finally let in all the goodies and what was your life like before? LOVE real life examples on this blog so please, please share what’s amazing about your life, if you’re comfortable doing so.
Looking forward to knowing you better and thanks again for your fabulous energy that’s shining through your words! Tia